I have been working on the same story for these last two months, and I have made some progress, but I can only write and re-write the same scene so many times before it is just overworked. I know where I am going with this story, I know what I am doing, I know who I am killing, but the words just don't want to work together. In fact, besides the movie reviews on this website and this right here, I haven't written more than one paragraph to be used in anything.
Those who don't write really don't understand. It isn't just about writing, it is also about the feeling that I am suffocating in my own head. There is nothing coming out and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I have a job to do, and yet I can't do it. If you have a job, a job you love, you can understand. If you were unable to do your job your entire life would suffer. You would become depressed, and lonely, and you'd wonder when things were going to get better because you can't live like this.
It isn't just about not being able to write, it is all of it. I can't create. Everything I do feels like it has been done before. I know there are some original ideas, actually there are quite a few of them, and yet I am stuck.
You don't have to be a writer to understand. It isn't just about not being able to work, it's about not having an outlet. I currently don't have an outlet for my frustration, anxiety, troubles, happiness, anything. It is all stuck inside of me. It is all building up. One day I will explode. I know it will happen, but I hope soon, really soon, that I will be able to write.
I need to be able to think. I need to be able to let go. Soon I hope.