I want to, instead, tell you what I am thankful for.
I am thankful for breath. Every day I wake up and I am still breathing, I am still able to get out of bed and enjoy life. I am able to walk out of my house, into my front yard, and look at the things I own. My life is really pretty good, even though at times it is incredibly hard. I struggle every year to make sure I have a job, make sure I am able to afford the life I have built, make sure that I can continue supporting myself and my significant other as much as possible. I have little furballs who depend on me too, and one is a hard one to care for since he is on medicine which is not cheap, and has a heart condition which needs to be monitored yearly. I struggle to write, as many writer's do, and it hurts my head and my heart to struggle as I do. Yet, I wouldn't change it for anything.
I am thankful for my significant other and my furbabies. Without them to comfort me, to care for, and to love, I may have gone crazy and become homeless a long time ago. I struggled. I struggled with myself because I was told that no one would love me, ever. I struggled because I thought, like a lot of people think, that no one would love me, that I was worthless, and that I didn't matter. Why didn't I matter? I was too fat, too ugly, to stupid, so many things, but we tell ourselves these things because either someone else did, or no one told us otherwise. I know a lot of people still feel this way, I know a lot of people are still struggling, but I wish you could know what it is like to feel better about yourself. I would love to tell you it gets better, but sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it still sucks. You just learn to move on and not let those things become who you will always be.
I am thankful for food. I love food, and right now I am a little sick, so I can't taste all of the food. I had a great egg sandwich for lunch, it smelled great, but it tasted like nothing. I love all of the holiday food, cheesecake, pumpkin pie, fudge (oh god please, someone make me some fudge!), holiday tea, the moist turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, mulled cranberry cider (I make it), and so many other things.
I am thankful that I can celebrate life, the holidays, and everything I am sure I take for granted every day! One day this life will end and I won't be able to do any of the things I do now. That is the day I will stop being thankful.
Now, this is the last blog post I needed to make today, I feel like I have been neglecting this blog a little, but as we all know, sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes, life.