Stacy Kingsley
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Movie Review - THE CANYONS

7/18/2016

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I don't know why this movie was made, and I don't know why people (even me) watched it, and I really think it was a terrible waste.

So this movie is about a bunch of people who treat each other terribly and have lots of sex with everybody. It has almost no plot even though it tries with the premise of a these people all being involved in the making of a movie. IMDb had this as a summary: When Christian, an LA trust-fund kid with casual ties to Hollywood, learns of a secret affair between Tara and the lead of his film project, Ryan, he spirals out of control, and his cruel mind games escalate into an act of bloody violence. Yeah, if only it was that interesting.

I am pretty sure this was a movie made only to see how far porn could go in mainstream movies. I think I saw more of Lindsay Lohan naked than in all of the "accidental" publicity shots of her getting out of her car. The acting was so dull, no one showed any emotion, and I don't know who's idea it was to cast James Deen but he was terrible, just terrible. I understand he is a porn star and I can see why, when he talks I just want to scream. He was bland and boring. I hope he doesn't have many lines in the porn movies he is in.

The rest of the cast is just forgettable. I don't even remember the names of the characters, and the ending was just boring and terrible. It made no sense, and the violence of the main character was just not obvious. I felt nothing towards him, and none of his actions made me fear for the other characters. I felt all of the characters were narcissistic assholes (sorry language here), and I was bored, so bored, and wish I had not had the desire to see how bad this movie really was.

So, in my opinion you should just skip this movie. It is a waste of time. I'd like to say it was a waste of talent but the only big name actor is a porn star by trade and should stick to saying "suck it" or whatever the hell he says in his movies, and the only big name actress was Lohan and she was just boring. She obviously did not really want to be in this movie at all. Skip it, just skip it.

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    Stacy Kingsley

    Stacy has a lot on her mind, so sharing helps. She also has a great love of movies and books, so she decided to blog about it. Get her reviews here! 

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