Stacy Kingsley
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Movie Review - CONJURING 2

8/1/2016

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Let me start this review off not with a review of the movie, but a review of my fellow moviegoers.

To the two large women sitting next to me: if someone is bothering you say something, don't keep whispering back and forth like no one can hear you.

To the teenagers next to me: Sure if you want to make out in a dark theater, go for it, just stop talking about it. I mean seriously teenage girl just freaking kiss the boy, stop asking "will you kiss me" and "kiss me now" it's stupid. Also, if you want to text and play snapchat in the theater, don't. Even if you turn your phone the other way so it isn't glaring in my face I can still see the little glowing light, so go outside if you MUST text. But you're in a movie, so why are you texting? It isn't that important since you didn't rush out of the theater for an emergency.

To the grandparents in front of me with three children only one of which was probably in the theater appropriately. First turn your stupid cell phone off. I get it, you don't get technology by the look of your old flip phone, but I am sure you can still turn it on silent, so it really shouldn't be ringing in the theater. And honestly it shouldn't be given the chance to ring twice, that's just dumb. Also, if you are bringing kids to a horror movie and they are going to talk and laugh the whole time, maybe choose a different movie. During quiet scenes it is very annoying to have two little boys chatting and laughing right in front of me. If you tell them to be quiet, then freaking make them be quiet, or leave the theater. Some of us want to watch the boring horror movie.

Lastly to the couple who decided to sneak into the theater when the movie was already an hour and forty minutes in, if you are going to sneak into a theater do it quietly. I don't want to hear you playing with your popcorn, or discussing which seats to sit in, or trying to figure out if there is gum on the floor. Plus, if you are going to sneak into a theater maybe don't dunk yourself in an entire bottle of perfume. I mean seriously, I am pretty sure the actors on the screen could smell you and were distracted.

Now let's get to the movie review. Okay, this movie relies heavily on jump scares, things popping or jumping out at you to scare you. There were some creepy moments and I felt that they could have done more with those and maybe frightened the viewer a little more slowly. The movie begins with the Warrens doing a reading in the Amityville house and walking through the house reenacting the moments of the murder. Then we head to England where another family is slowly haunted and tortured.

Okay, so as a horror movie this was boring, the scares were so planned and obvious that only one got me. It also had a very slow buildup and took forever to get anywhere. I actually almost fell asleep in the theater, which I have only done once. I love horror, so if this tells you anything it has to be how dull this movie was.

As for the story, it is hard. We don't know how long the family was in the house before things started happening, which bothered me. I wanted to know why this poltergeist was suddenly after this family and why it chose the one child it did to influence or attack. The lives of the Warrens weren't sympathetic to me and I questioned what this movie was really about. None of the haunted characters were really portrayed with any depth, they all seemed two dimensional. The mother Peggy was so flat I didn't know anything about her, even if she had a job. All of the characters were pretty much the same, and the only one who stood out was Morris, a man trying to prove that the afterlife exists, and he had very few scenes.

I can't say I would recommend this as a horror film. If you have watched the first CONJURING movie or ANNABELLE you will know what to expect, a slow buildup, lots of jump scares, and not a lot of backstory, or plot, or story.

I hate to say skip it, but skip it. If you want a good horror movie that is quiet with a slow build up, go watch SESSION 9, one of the best horror movies I've ever seen.
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    Stacy Kingsley

    Stacy has a lot on her mind, so sharing helps. She also has a great love of movies and books, so she decided to blog about it. Get her reviews here! 

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