The blog of author Stacy Kingsley

Movie Review - AUTOPSY

9/4/2017

AUTOPSY is a 2008 movie about friends who crash their car and end up at a local hospital. The hospital is a bizarre and possibly very dangerous place, with a weird front desk nurse and criminal deviants working as janitors and ambulance drivers.

The main character, Emily, is the one that the doctor, Benway, focuses on. She is a young girl who at one point was in med school, and the doctor seems to focus on this about her. He tells her she should go back to med school and get her degree, but he isn't who he seems to be, and behind the scenes he is experimenting, on what the audience doesn't really know.

One by one Emily's friends are taken away to be examined, and treated like experiments. She doesn't know what is happening until the doctor starts asking her some very odd questions during her exam. Emily asks after her boyfriend, Bobby, and is constantly told that he is in recovery, but towards the end of the movie she finds that nothing is that simple.

I will once again be honest, this was not the best movie. There was no explanation of plot, and as a horror movie it wasn't scary. It tries too hard to be a grotesque horror movie with violence and blood, but that isn't what makes a movie a horror movie. A good horror movie has something frightening, it suspends belief and makes one want to watch more. A good horror movie makes one sit on the edge of their seat and anxiously wait to see what happens to the characters. This movie had none of that.

I didn't get to know the backstory of any of the characters, which doesn't help make me care what happens to them. The bad guy, Dr. Benway, wasn't at all scary or menacing (even though the character was played by the excellent Robert Patrick). The scares were mostly of the gore and blood type, showing the inside of a characters beaten skull as another character tries to help them isn't scary, it is just dull since it has been done over and over. The movie just didn't grab me like it should have and I found my mind drifting to other things. It was boring, which is a bad thing for a horror movie to be.

I don't recommend this movie to anyone, not even anyone like me who will watch anything (even when it has bad reviews from others). It was dull, unoriginal, and just bland.

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Movie Review - THE CANYONS

7/18/2016

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I don't know why this movie was made, and I don't know why people (even me) watched it, and I really think it was a terrible waste.

So this movie is about a bunch of people who treat each other terribly and have lots of sex with everybody. It has almost no plot even though it tries with the premise of a these people all being involved in the making of a movie. IMDb had this as a summary: When Christian, an LA trust-fund kid with casual ties to Hollywood, learns of a secret affair between Tara and the lead of his film project, Ryan, he spirals out of control, and his cruel mind games escalate into an act of bloody violence. Yeah, if only it was that interesting.

I am pretty sure this was a movie made only to see how far porn could go in mainstream movies. I think I saw more of Lindsay Lohan naked than in all of the "accidental" publicity shots of her getting out of her car. The acting was so dull, no one showed any emotion, and I don't know who's idea it was to cast James Deen but he was terrible, just terrible. I understand he is a porn star and I can see why, when he talks I just want to scream. He was bland and boring. I hope he doesn't have many lines in the porn movies he is in.

The rest of the cast is just forgettable. I don't even remember the names of the characters, and the ending was just boring and terrible. It made no sense, and the violence of the main character was just not obvious. I felt nothing towards him, and none of his actions made me fear for the other characters. I felt all of the characters were narcissistic assholes (sorry language here), and I was bored, so bored, and wish I had not had the desire to see how bad this movie really was.

So, in my opinion you should just skip this movie. It is a waste of time. I'd like to say it was a waste of talent but the only big name actor is a porn star by trade and should stick to saying "suck it" or whatever the hell he says in his movies, and the only big name actress was Lohan and she was just boring. She obviously did not really want to be in this movie at all. Skip it, just skip it.

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Movie Review - THE GALLOWS

1/28/2016

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I like horror movies. I dislike predictable horror movies. I disliked this movie.

The movie starts with the recording of a high school play. There is a tragic incident which leads to the death of a student during the play and then the movie picks up several years later, at the same high school. This movie is a found footage film, which I have to say is really overdone and dull at this point. There isn't much new out there to this type of horror film.

Anyway, I am getting sidetracked. The film follows four students who are either in a redo of the play "THE GALLOWS", the same play where a student died years before. One of the students is a former football player who has given up the game to be in this play, for one reason only, because he has a crush on the main actress. His best friend constantly teases him about giving up football to be in the play, and when he realizes how terrible his friend is as an actor he comes up with a plan to destroy the set and help his friend.

The students sneak into the the school late one night to destroy the set, and realize they are not alone. Some sinister force is there with them, seeking revenge, seeking friends, they don't know what is going on, but one by one, tragic things again happen.

This movie was just not good. The scares were predictable, the actors were terrible, the plot dull, and everything was just so obvious. There was not one moment in this film where I was actually very interested in watching it. I wanted to throw things because it was just so obvious who was the killer, and why they were killing, and who was the daughter or son of the killer, and ugh. I am so tired of these boring, predictable horror films which think they are being clever by having some sort of twist at the end, but in reality the twist is so obvious that there is no twist at all.

I would like to take back the hour and twenty minutes I spent watching this movie. I don't recommend this movie to anyone. It isn't scary, it isn't fun, it isn't interesting, it's just dull.

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Movie Review - AUTOPSY

Movie Review - THE CANYONS

Movie Review - THE GALLOWS

Stacy Kingsley

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