Stacy Kingsley
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Book Review - Whispers by Lynn Yvonne Moon

10/6/2018

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Whispers by Lynne Yvonne Moon was an okay book. It is about a young girl, Musetta, who has been repeatedly raped by her father. Once her father dies she thinks she is safe, but instead she finds that he continues to taunt and rape her.

Musetta is a twelve year old girl who struggles with a secret. The book begins at her fathers funeral, where she acts out and shows how much she hated him for what he as done. As life moves forward and she continues to be tormented by what she thinks is her father's ghost, life becomes more difficult. Finding that her life has been covered by dark secrets and that no one really knows the truth about what is and isn't real, Musetta relies of her group of friends to help her uncover the truth and stop the attacks on her body.

I thought this book started off well, but after a time I found it unbelievable, and even with the understanding that it was written for middle grade children, I felt that even for them it would be unbelievable and at times annoying. Musetta, after people learn of the abuse, doesn't seem to get the help from any of the adults in her life that she should. And the fact that no one seems to believe her is a serious issue. I also found it annoying that these four kids kept doing dangerous things an no one seemed to notice or care. Now, I get that kids get away with a lot, and that is life, but this seemed to take things a little too far.

After a time, I also felt that the book dragged on as the same things kept happening over and over, and maybe this didn't need to be 208 pages. The ending disappointed me a little as Musetta found out everything after a near death experience, instead of through all of the things she had been doing or researching, which to me is just like finding everything out in a dream or flashback. Also, the fact that no one knew anything at the end was a little off putting as well, as she had been going through all of this stuff and no adult seemed to really care.

I didn't hate this book and it was a fast read for me, and it did tackle a serious issue, but to be honest, even that seemed out of place as the rape was never explained except as a "control issue" which is not always why people rape, and it could have had a deeper purpose in this book. It could have been given the attention deserved.
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Series Review - 13 REASONS WHY

4/21/2017

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Okay, so I know that there is a lot of controversy around this Netflix series, but I decided to watch it, in fact I binged it yesterday and today. I have to say I didn't like it.

I will be honest, the teenage years are hard for a lot of us, as humans, puberty, and learning who you are and what you like or want, it is not only confusing but there is zero guidance. We do the best we can, and some of us make it through the teenage years, while some of us struggle through or don't make it at all. I am not saying that these years are hard for everyone, but in all honesty, it is, if nothing else, confusing and questioning.

When I was in 8th grade I was horribly bullied, and it really started in 7th, but got worse in 8th. I was called names, I was shunned from groups, and I was teased endlessly. Painting a picture of myself, I was a scrawny girl, with glasses too large for my small face, and brownish curly hair that at this point I did not know how to handle. I was quiet and artistic, and when I tried to make friends I was told that I was stupid and should just go away (which a child can take many ways). Things got a little better when I went from a christian school to the public high school. The people I met there were just as cruel, but there were more students, so it wasn't all focused on me. Girls were often called sluts, and teenage angst meant many of us fought, internal and external struggles. We made out with each other because we were curious and scared. We were scared that no one would understand why we were still virgins at seventeen, and we often wondered what was wrong with us. Today the only thing that has changed is we can go after each other through multiple layers of social medial.

So back to 13 REASONS WHY. The biggest problem with this is that the suicide is portrayed as everyone's fault but the actual person who committed suicide. Everyone else in the show is blamed by the deceased girl as someone who caused or contributed to her death. My opinion: suicide is a selfish choice people make when they feel like they have nothing left to offer or any other avenues to get help. It is no one's fault but the person who has taken their own life. No one is to blame for a suicide but the person who has actually committed suicide. Yes, there may be warning signs, but then again there may not be signs.

Suicide is NEVER the answer to solve your problems. It is a final decision, and you can never turn back from that. I know people who have attempted and been unsuccessful and I know people who have been successful, I hurt for them, but there is nothing I can do, or could have done, to change their minds. The only thing left after a suicide is pain, and it isn't even something I can fathom explaining.

Another thing I disliked about this show in particular, none of the characters were likeable. The main character, Hannah, is possibly the worst human being. And - SPOILER HERE SO STOP IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT - the fact that she watched her friend being raped and did absolutely nothing was utterly disgusting. As a human being I was so angered by this I almost stopped watching there, because who does that? Who sees someone being assaulted and doesn't say anything? I know a lot of people witness crimes and don't report it, but none of the characters were likeable, and this was just one thing. Another character I hated was the other main character, Clay. He kept listening to the tapes Hannah left behind like a big idiot and he did nothing. One of the other students has been seen stalking and photographing female students and he doesn't go to the police. He just lets it go, even though he tells the stalker kid that he doesn't want to see him, he doesn't report it, meaning that other students might still be stalked by this student. And I have seen teenagers, what teenager has seven, yes, seven, visible tattoos. I mean, some of these students seemed like they were in their twenties at least.

None of the characters were likeable, and I felt that the students portrayed were only a small section of students. Teenagers, like every other freaking person on Earth, can be cruel. You have offices where women judge other women by the length of their skirts, or the tightness of their clothes. You see men judging men on the brand of shoes they wear or the types of cars they drive. And honestly NONE of it matters. You know what does matter, humans. We matter to each other and this television show not only shows the worst side of EVERYONE, but it also glorifies suicide. No one, well almost no one, in the entire show says that Hannah's death is Hannah's fault. It is entirely Hannah's fault. No one is to blame but Hannah. Her death isn't an answer to anything, it didn't solve any of her problems, it was literally just an end, a stupid end to a person's unfulfilled life.

This show has no redeeming value. There is no point. It doesn't say suicide is bad. It doesn't say there is help out there for people who are struggling. It doesn't even offer help for teenagers who might be struggling through some of the issues involved in the show, like: Alcoholism, substance abuse, parental abuse and neglect, depression, rape, bullying, teen sex, and I could go on!

I do not recommend this show to anyone. It has no redeeming value. There is no point to it, except to say that if someone commits suicide it is not there fault, because someone out there should have noticed, and someone out there should have done something. If someone really wants to commit suicide, they are going to do it. Plus, the scene of the actual suicide, while some may be disturbed by it, it wasn't actually very realistic.

So, skip this Netflix original series. It isn't worth it. It has zero purpose except to place the blame of someone's suicide on anyone but the person who is dead.
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Movie Review - BIRTH OF A NATION

10/12/2016

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So, before I start this review I have to state that I understand there is controversy surrounding the Director Nate Parker, but this is a review of his movie, not a statement about him.

So, I had not ever heard of Nat Turner before seeing this movie, this point in history is not one which is taught in history classes, or at least not in any of the classes I took. I have no idea if anyone has been taught about this in school, and if you were taught about this then kudos to you for knowing more than me.

If you don't know, before the civil war there was a period (48 hours) of unrest where slaves rose up and assaulted and killed their owners, and other owners of slaves. They were unable to overthrow all of the plantations, which resulted in the hanging of several slaves and free men. Truth be told, slaves were not treated well, and I feel I must state this well because I have heard people make the comment, "Well, not everyone was a bad slave owner." This may be true, maybe not everyone beat their slaves, limited food for their slaves, raped their slaves, and killed their slaves, but they all treated their slaves as property, regulating their lives, who they loved, and what happened to their children.

Now for the movie. There is a lot of controversy about this movie, about the rape scenes and how it was treated, or how the rape scenes are all about the men, but I think people forget about the period in time this was and men were often the protector. Plus, when a woman is raped sometimes she is silent and in shock. I, personally, didn't think these were off and I felt a little at ease that the scenes were poignant without being right in your face about it.

This movie can really make you think about slavery in general. If a man feels like a person is property (as still happens today, especially in domestic violence situations) he feels as if he can do anything to that property. He may damage that property in any way he sees fit, and if this property displeases him, he can get rid of it, by selling it or killing it. We, America, can't erase our past, but we should learn from it. I don't care what you think of Nate Parker, I want you to see this movie because I want you to look at a history of slavery. Children were removed from their parents and sold, sold to anyone who could afford them, and that child could be used for any purpose. I want you to watch this movie and have a conversation, about history and the present.

There are dark days in front of us. We joke about who abused who more in this presidential race. If we don't want to repeat the past, we should look to it and learn, and we shouldn't forget.

I really liked this movie. And the use of Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit" was perfect and filled with emotion.
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As A Writer

7/28/2016

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As a writer I often get wrapped up in books, movies, and the things I am working on. I dismiss or don't always pay attention to those around me. Sometimes I do ignore the suffering of others. It isn't a conscience choice, it is just that I am so in my own head that I forget others exist. I focus on my characters, or the plot trouble I am having, or the fact that I need to design a cover for a story I am about to release.

As a writer of horror I dwell a lot with the darker side of life. I often think about murder and suicide and how to torture someone, either physically or mentally, and it can be mentally exhausting. Sometimes I can't deal with the trouble in the real world because I have been living that day in the mind of a serial killer, or in the mind of a rape victim. I never know what mood I am going to be in at the end of the day, and sometimes I just need a break, so I bury myself in something else and forget again that I have others who depend on me.

As a writer I have come to realize the solitary life I lead. My partner doesn't know what my life is like because they can't see inside my head. Most of my friends don't know that I may be utterly depressed because I just killed a ten-year-old in my book, or because I have been walking through the woods as a serial killer plotting his new life. If someone asks me how my day was, or how it is going, I will always answer that it was fine and everything was fine, because the truth might be so painful it physically hurts me to think about it.

As a writer I am lonely, a lot. I sit at home or at the coffee shop with my notebooks and headphones and listen to whatever music the characters wants while writing down the lives of characters who only exist when I let them out. I try to explain but if I go into detail you, out there in internet land, won't understand. How could you? You don't see what I see. You don't know what is going on in my head. It is a dark place, I live a constant life in a dark place, and yet I function every day, but I still wish that you would ask me out. I don't have co-workers. I don't have an office.

As a writer I know the love of other writers. I know the peace I feel when I am among other people who understand. I know what it feels like to be among people who will listen to the horrors I write and understand that this is what is in my head, it doesn't mean it is me.

As a writer I have been asked some serious and private questions. I wrote a story once about a mother who dumps the abuse and murdered body of the young child she killed. Apparently I described the abuse so well that I was asked if I too was abused. I wrote a story with a rape scene in it that I was asked if I was raped and if I needed to be led to someone to talk to. I wrote a story about burying a loved one and was asked if the story was about me. I just see things, situations, and I see them so clearly that sometimes it hurts. The story about burying a loved one, I actually cried when I wrote it. I cried when I finished it. I cry when I read it. It hurts. It hurts to be a writer, it feels like I'm being cut by a million different razor blades, but it also feel great, it feels like an accomplishment and a relief to get those people and those scenes out of my head.

As a writer I think. I think a lot. I also don't sleep. I have issues with sleep. I have so much I want to get out, and my brain just does not shut up. I should be sleeping now. It is 1am on Friday, July 29, 2016. I don't want to sleep. I have people to let out. I have a story burning in my fingers. A story that begins with, "Holy Shit," she exclaimed when her doctor told her the results. Cancer, again. How many times does one person get cancer. It was almost as if cancer had a revenge pact against her for some reason.

For now, my internet lovelies, I am going to try to sleep. I am going to go brush my teeth and pray that my cat makes it through one more night. I have been praying this a lot. I am going to hope that my partner has a great, accident free drive to work tomorrow. I am going to pray that I wake up feeling rested and am able to get to work on this story while it is burning so brightly in my brain.

I just wanted you, out there, to know what life is like, as a writer.
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    Stacy Kingsley

    Stacy has a lot on her mind, so sharing helps. She also has a great love of movies and books, so she decided to blog about it. Get her reviews here! 

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