The blog of author Stacy Kingsley

Moving

8/9/2017

So I've moved. Moving is an interesting process. You cry over leaving friends and family (if you have them to leave). You cry over leaving stuff or getting rid of stuff. You cry over the idea and fact that most of your stuff not fitting in boxes. You cry in frustration. You cry because you have to take two cats in a car for 11 hours. You cry because starting over is hard. I did none of that. I didn't cry over any of it, although I worried. I worried that my 17 year-old cat wasn't going to be strong enough to take on an 11 hour drive. I worried that my boy cat might be stuck under a blanket the entire time and overheat. I worried that when I got to my new location I'd go insane because there was going to be so much to do and not enough time. But then, sometimes there doesn't ever seem to be enough time.

Moving is traumatic, and hard. Now that I am in my new location I haven't a clue what to do. I have to build a new writing community from the ground up. I have to build new friendships from the ground up. I have to put myself out there. That is frightening. Putting yourself out there is frightening. Not knowing what people will think about you when they first meet you. It is really hard, especially when you don't know how much strange to let out.

For a little while I am going to go insane. I'm going to try to learn my way around. I am going to learn my way around and eventually I'll get to a grocery store.

Well, that is all I can say for now, but only because I don't know where I am anymore. My life is in chaos, but that is okay because I thrive in chaos. I love it, and when things get organized I will be okay with that too.

But starting over is hard, and I hope I can meet some awesome new people soon, otherwise I just might go insane.

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Moving is a Difficult Life Choice

8/2/2017

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I am moving. I currently reside in Northern Alabama. I arrived in Alabama a little more than two and a half years ago from Southern California. It was definitely a culture shock. First the produce wasn't as good or as easily found. It is almost impossible to find a ripe and ready avocado here, and I was living on avocados. I have food issues, for example I am allergic to apples. This allergy makes life difficult, do you want to know why? It is because apples seem to be ripe all year round, but it is so hard to find strawberries that are ripe all year long. Why am I talking about produce? Because moving makes me wonder what all I am going to be able to find and what I am going to be missing.

I am moving from Northern Alabama to Northern Virginia. I leave Alabama on Sunday, with two cats in the car, and dreams of a bright future. Am I looking forward to moving, yes and no. Moving is a real pain in the ass. Packing your life in boxes and deciding what is important enough to drag along for the ride is rough. Little things have importance, but then you look beyond the stuff and think about what really matters. I have several paintings done by my grandfather when he was in the throes of Parkinsons. The paintings are wobbly landscapes with scattered trees and deep waters. I will forever cherish them. They are all I have left of him. Yet, I also have a tattoo of a stuffed animal he and my grandmother gave me when I was two. So, he will always be with me. So many things don't really matter, stuff doesn't matter, it is just things we drag along behind us because we can't let it go. Why weigh ourselves down with stuff we don't need?

Every piece of stuff we let go of lightens our load. Moving can seem a little like letting part of you die. When we die we leave everything behind. We leave our loved ones behind, all of the stuff we have collected throughout the years, the things that we thought mattered, but doesn't. We start over, in an unknown place, meeting new people and making new friends, which is what happens if you believe in the afterlife. We walk a path unknown to us and hope it leads to happiness.

Moving is also a chance to start a new life, reinvent yourself. At least that is what people keep telling me.

People ask so many questions about moving, like: are you ready? Are you all packed? Are you looking forward to it? Are you ready to be with so and so again? Yet, you know what they don't ask? Are you okay? Do you need anything? If you need anything let me know (and then if they say they need something, follow through). These are the important questions. These are the ones we should ask anyway, whether someone is moving or not.

When I ask someone how they are or if they need anything I mean it. I will follow through with a promise of help. I will provide an ear to listen, and I will refrain from giving advice unless it is wanted. I will just be there to sit in silence and watch a movie if that is what's needed. I am one of those people who has been disappointed so many times, that I don't want to disappoint. I want people to feel like they have someone to count on, I want to be that person people can count on, I want people to know they aren't alone. I guess that is the point of it.

I don't want people to feel alone.

When I moved from Southern California to Northern Alabama I told people that I had two weeks for them to come see me. I told everyone that they could come over any time, because due to packing and cleaning and house preparations I wasn't sure I would have time to meet outside of the house. Some of my friends had viable excuses for not having time to come over. Others made plans then cancelled. Still others didn't even try. It was a lonely time, feeling as if you spent 30 years building a life somewhere only to have one, just one friend, make time to see you before you left. It makes one feel as if they don't matter in the scheme of things. It makes you realize that people, too often, let life get in the way. Life isn't something we just do, it is everything we do, everything we are, everything we can be. We control what we do in our lives, not the other way around.

Now I prepare to leave Northern Alabama. A life I only had two and a half years to make. It has been fun, meeting people, acting, teaching, working in an art studio, learning that Alabama isn't full of rednecks and incest. Alabama is full of interesting people, and variety, and social and racial issues. It has been a learning experience, and I hope that Northern Virginia provides the same exceptional opportunities to learn about life, people, and anything. I'm open.

Moving is hard, it feels like a part of you is constantly in chaos, and maybe part of you is. It feels like you are losing part of yourself, especially if it was unexpected. It is scary. And unless you are moving to escape something, it is always difficult. Honestly, even if you are moving to escape something it is difficult. Moving is an unknown, even if you are moving to be near family, you never know the reception you will receive.

So, here I go. Preparing to leave the home I just finished making my own, two cats in tow, one partner ready to be a couple again, and a life waiting for me to get started.

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Tales of a Cali girl in a Southern Town

7/6/2016

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I used to live in Southern California, and then one day I found myself moving to Northern Alabama. I have now lived here for a little more than a year and a half.

Culture shock was my first experience when I moved here. It was like going back in time. Instead of a Starbucks on every corner there is a Church on every corner. Gay marriage wasn't legal when I moved here (it is now thankfully), medical marijuana isn't legal here, and everywhere you look there is chicken, fried chicken, baked chicken, broiled chicken, chicken in pies, chicken. There are things called collard greens and okra. People say ya'll and bless your heart. Hiking is a sport, but so are music festivals and bad beer.

I asked if there was good Mexican food and was told to try Rosie's...yeah, it isn't even close. I got a bean and cheese burrito, which was basically a bean burrito with cheese on top and sauce smothering it, literally smothering it. So no, there isn't really much Mexican food here in Alabama, but why am I surprised.

Produce is interesting here. I come from the land of plenty, where avocados are fresh daily, artichokes are easily found, and strawberries can be found year-round. Things here in Alabama are seasonal, which makes it hard for someone like me who is used to eating artichokes once a week, and avocados every other day. Now I am lucky if I get avocados once a month and I can't tell you when I last had an artichoke.

But it isn't all bad, three months out of a year my hair looks fabulous, the rest of the time it is either raining or humid so I just go with big southern hair (which is a thing). I've met some awesome people who I wouldn't have met otherwise. No, not all southerners are racist, nor do they all go to church, and yes I find them to be a little more tolerant than even some of the people I know in California.

So, that's the start of how a Cali girl feels about moving to the south. I will say more when I give it some time. This here took me a year and a half to write. I've been deciding if I like Alabama or not, and honestly, it's pretty okay.

Oh, and there is some really awesome catfish here, like awesome!!!

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Ramblings

1/22/2015

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So I've been sick with some sort of head cold/sinus infection/sore throat thing for about a month. With moving and being sick and finding someone to take care of my property in Southern California it has been a whirlwind of a ride. Now that I have been in Alabama for a week I am starting to think about the future, after I get healthy, and after I find a good coffee shop to write in (it is surprisingly difficult to find one here!), I want to get back to work on my last novel, which has been waiting in the wings staring at me.

Writing is a tough thing. All you authors out there know. The time it takes to create and get to know a character, the time it takes to sit and think about the plot and what you want to happen, the realization that you won't be getting what you want from either your story or your characters, it's all rough. So I am trying to find my bearings. I am a writer and I can be a creature of habit, but I now need to come out of my shell and get to it.

Yeah, I might be rambling a little bit in this blog post, but sometimes that's how we roll. Humans I mean, not writers. We all ramble a little bit.

I'm done now, having said what I need to say, tonight I hope to get a good night's sleep for once, and tomorrow is a new day (that is such a stupid saying, of course tomorrow is a new day, unless I somehow hop in a time machine, every tomorrow is a new day).

Mostly, I just want to let all of you out there in the world of the interwebs that I haven't forgotten about you. Life just got in the way for a moment, more like 5 moments, but I think I'm gonna be good and back on track soon. At least I hope so. Nothing is worse than a writer with extra time on their hand.

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Alabama

1/15/2015

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So far I haven't seen much of my new hometown in Alabama. The problem? Besides unpacking and organizing my stuff so I can find my underwear and pants, the problem has been the bitter cold. Yes, some of you out there might be wondering what the hell I'm talking about since temperatures are somewhere between 30-50, but you have to realize that I come from Southern California, where the temperature today was 70.

I am a Cali girl, I lived there from the age of 8 to 3 days ago, and now I am living in a place where weather happens. I don't know what to do with myself or how to keep my fingertips or ears from falling off. It's cold. And there never seems to be enough warmth, in fact the only time I'm warm is when I am drinking a glass of wine, so I might just have to become a boozer to stay warm.

Another problem is I'm a writer, so I am often an introvert. I don't know anyone personally in Alabama, although I do have some internet friends living near me. It's daunting to make new friends. It's daunting to begin a new life. I really feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

I have no problem sharing my trials or tribulations. As an author I feel like I should share, just so that you out there know I am a real person, with real person problems, I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm excited, and I'm sad. Then again besides all of this, I like adventure. I like that there are a ton of abandoned sites I can visit (when it's a little warmer I think, I mean seriously, how long does this fingertip killing cold last, I may run out of Kleenex for my nose before then). I like that I can take a day trip to Nashville and Memphis and a weekend to Atlanta or New Orleans. I like that I am being grown-up enough to move and start a new life and make new friends and just be awesome.

In all honesty I have a hankering for some really good Mexican food. A fatty, lard filled, toasted and overfull bean and cheese burrito with real (not mayonnaise) guacamole and spicy (which I shouldn't eat) salsa.

Here is to new adventures, and hoping I don't freeze my fingers, toes, nose, or ears off in this chilling, horrifying cold!

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Moving

1/12/2015

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So I haven't been writing for the past four months or so because I was thinking about moving, then the husband got a job and we found out we were moving. After he left to start his new job I had almost three months to fix up my rental house and follow him. Packing two cats, myself and a friend in the car on the 9th I finally began my cross country journey. I'll be honest, traveling across country with two cats, one of which won't stop meowing for a 8+ hour car ride, isn't my idea of fun, but I have gotten an idea for a story about ruptured eardrums and evil kittens.

Tomorrow I land in my new home of Alabama, after living in San Diego, California for pretty much most of my life. I am looking forward to seeing my husband again and to finally being free of these small, furry, meowing, pooping, needy beasts, but I will miss the roots I had grown and deepened in California. I'm sure I will find new friends in Alabama, and I look forward to the journey, the million y'alls I'll hear, and the ability to figuring out when "Bless your heart" is a good thing or a bad thing. I look forward to the creepy landscape which I hope will help my horror writing leap off of higher cliffs.

Yet, I keep thinking about all I will miss in Cali. The beaches, the Wild Animal Park, Sea World, the 1 1/2 hour ride to Disneyland, LA (but not LA traffic), the sun, and most of all the really awesome Mexican food! But when I think about what I might be gaining the fried deliciousness, the landscape, the people, and of course the husband, I can't be too sad.

Hopefully, I can start writing again in the next two weeks, I've got to get the last book in my zombie series done so you, out there reading and waiting for my books, can read it and continue to love me!

But for now, the journey to Alabama ends tomorrow, and then the next part begins, the unpacking, the "where the hell did I put my toothbrush" moments, and finding the right coffee shop to sit and write while drinking wonderful caffeinated beverages at.

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Moving

Moving is a Difficult Life Choice

Tales of a Cali girl in a Southern Town

Ramblings

Alabama

Moving

Stacy Kingsley

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