All right, this is what IMDb has as the plot synopsis for the movie: An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company's CEO from an idyllic but mysterious "wellness center" at a remote location in the Swiss Alps, but soon suspects that the spa's treatments are not what they seem. This doesn't even begin to describe what the movie is about.
In the last few months I have not gone to see many movies in the theater, partly because there haven't been a lot of movies that I have wanted to pay six dollars to sit through. This should have been one of these movies. Now, let me say that I did not hate this movie, nor did I love it, it did however make me wonder how long I was in the theater, and what in the world I had just watched.
Going into this movie I thought I was going to be watching a horror movie, and while it did have some of the elements a horror movie would have, it was not a horror movie, it was more of a suspense thriller. Watching this movie was like watching a car wreck about to happen and then happen, between a clown car and a car full of roaches. It was interesting to begin with, although you don't really like clowns, then it got weirdly creepy with roaches running all over for no reason, then it got creepier after the car accident when the roaches started climbing into every free orifice of the clowns.
This movie starts out as a very young executive transfers to another office, partly because he is needed to go retrieve the CEO, and partly because he has done something stupid and will be paying retribution for it. When he arrives at the wellness center he sees that it is full of older patients, and he is annoyed by a young desk nurse. He tries to see the CEO he was sent to retrieve, but is not allowed, then on his way back down to town the car he is in hits a deer and he is in a terrible accident.
He wakes up in a clean white bed, in clean white clothes, in the wellness center, supposedly three days after the accident. Many odd things happen. Some of the older patients seem a little off. The director of the center is a strange and stoney man. Besides the employees there is one other younger person there, a young girl named Hannah, who is there because she is "special".
The young executive, Lockhart, wanders around the facility trying to find Pembroke, the CEO he was sent to bring back to New York. What he finds is a lot of weird questions that he doesn't have the answers to.
This was a very weird movie. I went into it thinking I was going to see a horror flick, but there was a literally a butt load of naked older booty, a few uncomfortable sex scenes, and a lot of sexual innuendo. Overall this was about sex and babies and incest, which on the best of days can be an interesting combination. This movie did not pull it off. While there were some uncomfortable moments, teeth being pulled, stuff being shoved down a patients throat, awkward sex scenes that made some in the audience cringe, this was not the best movie. It was nothing like what the previews lead me to think it was.
So, if you want to see a horror movie this is not the movie for you. If you want to see a movie that has some hot old ass in it, this is the movie for you. If you like movies that are weird and make you question what the hell you just watched, this is the movie for you. If you like movies that make you feel like you have spent a half a day in the theater because it is the longest movie ever even though it is only two hours, this is the movie for you. If you like wasting time and money, this is absolutely the movie for you.
Me? I wish I had waited for it to get to the dollar theater.
In the last few months I have not gone to see many movies in the theater, partly because there haven't been a lot of movies that I have wanted to pay six dollars to sit through. This should have been one of these movies. Now, let me say that I did not hate this movie, nor did I love it, it did however make me wonder how long I was in the theater, and what in the world I had just watched.
Going into this movie I thought I was going to be watching a horror movie, and while it did have some of the elements a horror movie would have, it was not a horror movie, it was more of a suspense thriller. Watching this movie was like watching a car wreck about to happen and then happen, between a clown car and a car full of roaches. It was interesting to begin with, although you don't really like clowns, then it got weirdly creepy with roaches running all over for no reason, then it got creepier after the car accident when the roaches started climbing into every free orifice of the clowns.
This movie starts out as a very young executive transfers to another office, partly because he is needed to go retrieve the CEO, and partly because he has done something stupid and will be paying retribution for it. When he arrives at the wellness center he sees that it is full of older patients, and he is annoyed by a young desk nurse. He tries to see the CEO he was sent to retrieve, but is not allowed, then on his way back down to town the car he is in hits a deer and he is in a terrible accident.
He wakes up in a clean white bed, in clean white clothes, in the wellness center, supposedly three days after the accident. Many odd things happen. Some of the older patients seem a little off. The director of the center is a strange and stoney man. Besides the employees there is one other younger person there, a young girl named Hannah, who is there because she is "special".
The young executive, Lockhart, wanders around the facility trying to find Pembroke, the CEO he was sent to bring back to New York. What he finds is a lot of weird questions that he doesn't have the answers to.
This was a very weird movie. I went into it thinking I was going to see a horror flick, but there was a literally a butt load of naked older booty, a few uncomfortable sex scenes, and a lot of sexual innuendo. Overall this was about sex and babies and incest, which on the best of days can be an interesting combination. This movie did not pull it off. While there were some uncomfortable moments, teeth being pulled, stuff being shoved down a patients throat, awkward sex scenes that made some in the audience cringe, this was not the best movie. It was nothing like what the previews lead me to think it was.
So, if you want to see a horror movie this is not the movie for you. If you want to see a movie that has some hot old ass in it, this is the movie for you. If you like movies that are weird and make you question what the hell you just watched, this is the movie for you. If you like movies that make you feel like you have spent a half a day in the theater because it is the longest movie ever even though it is only two hours, this is the movie for you. If you like wasting time and money, this is absolutely the movie for you.
Me? I wish I had waited for it to get to the dollar theater.
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