The blog of author Stacy Kingsley - Stacy Kingsley

Book Review - GHOSTED

7/18/2018

I won a copy of Ghosted by Rosie Walsh and I thought this might be an interesting read. In all honesty parts of it were, but it was also very hard to read and get into. Most of the book follows Sarah, a woman who sees a man for seven days and then she loses her mind searching for him, becoming an annoying character that I did no like. The book follows several different people it seems, although it really only follows two, Sarah and Eddie.

The breaks between characters, or the breaks between chapters - this is difficult because there are chapters that go from present to the past. It really interrupts the story, and makes it difficult to read, or to stay interested in the characters. I especially disliked the ending, when it went from Eddie to Sarah.

I also have to say I didn't care how the story ended. It wasn't as if I didn't expect it, but there were things in the book that were misleading, and after the third or fourth time that it happened I realized I was getting bored and I didn't care anymore if Sarah and Eddie found each other or not. Or really what happened to Sarah in the end. After learning about the secret that tore them apart, I was even less interested, partly because it was obvious to me that it was a horrible accident and that some of it didn't seem at all believable. In reality, while this wasn't a bad book, it just wasn't a book for me, which is why I would give it three of five stars.

I also had an ARC, so I did notice there were a lot of grammatical errors which did annoy the English teacher in me. I hope that in the final draft these errors were corrected.

Musings and THE EXORCIST television show

2/8/2018

February is here and it already feels like it has been a very long year. Only two and a half months into 2018 and I already feel like I am ready for the new beginnings of 2019!

This month I don't know how much writing I will be getting done. It has been a rough one. On February 1st my father-in-law, Nicholas von Hoffman passed away. Three years from February 6th my mother-in-law, Ann C. Byrne, passed away. I am also dealing with a very elderly (she is eighteen) and declining cat, and I don't think I can really take another bit of bad news this month. Then there is the looming conflict of a government shutdown. I don't think anyone can really handle that if it happens, and the likely hood of it seems very high.

It almost feels like the entire United States is in chaos and covered in a blanket of bad. With the government idiocy, the rampant flu, and the ups and downs of the stock market, I look to the future and wonder if even next month will be relaxing, or tomorrow. When can we breathe? When can we relax? I'd like to relax.

And so I am trying, I am watching the television show THE EXORCIST. It is much more interesting than I thought it would be. There are a lot of things going on in it, possessions, priests failing their vows, priests and nuns doing more than what you thought they would, horrific and horrifying homicides, organ removal, savage and sensual sex, and young girls who may or may not continue living. There is so much going on and it seems to be moving towards an apocalypse of epic proportions, and to be honest, it is also a great distraction from all of the things going on in actual life. I am a little surprised at how much gore and violence there are in this, only because it is a FOX television show, but then I think back to HANNIBAL (I still wish it had kept going) and I'm not as surprised. If you haven't watched either of these, I highly recommend both shows.

And now off to do stuff for the day job... Oh if only I could be a full-time, well-paid, author....or have a really great sugar daddy who only wanted company not sex.

Reflections on Life

1/12/2018

Often I can't sleep at night for one reason or another. It is currently after one in the morning, almost two. Tonight I can't sleep because my partner can't stop snoring, my restless leg syndrome is acting up, and overall I am worried. Stress causes the brain to keep moving long after it should chill.

Every now and then our lives seem difficult. We tell ourselves that things aren't as bad as they seem because we are still alive, or we tell ourselves life could be worse, we could be dying from some incurable illness. In all honesty we can't live in the past, and we can't question what we are going to do in the future. Of course things could be worse, but maybe right now things are the worst they have been in our lives. Right now might be the worst things have ever been, and maybe on reflection things have been worse that in the past, and they might get worse in the future, but we are living in the now. We reach out, wanting to talk to our friends, but often when that time comes we hesitate, not wanting to burden people with our problems when we know they have problems of their own.

There are very few people I can talk to. It isn't because I don't feel comfortable, it isn't because I don't think they won't listen, it's because I don't like being vulnerable. I hate crying in front of people. I hate having emotions or being emotional, and if you have ever seen it you should feel honored. Right now though, I may be at a breaking point.

I have a lot on my mind. One of those things is my anxiety over talking to my partner about our eighteen year old cat. Our cat, lovingly called Shaggy Maggie, isn't doing so well, and I think it is time for us to let her go. She has gone from nine pounds to less than four, and she looks, and feels, like a skeleton. She has chronic kidney disease, and isn't going to get better. We have given her medicines, and the vet tried extraneous fluids but she was having none of that. So, after continually giving her anti-nausea meds and all the wet food she can eat without puking, I realized tonight that she is still losing weight. I can't, however, have a rational discussion with my partner about it right now because their father is not doing so hot.

Balancing things creates more tension. I am struggling with this decision I have to make, and I am struggling with how and when to talk to my partner about it, and I am trying to balance my upset with and their anxiety over their father.

But right now, I'm tired. I am so tired. I want to be sleeping, but my legs actually hurt. I want to sleep, but my partner sounds like an Harley. I want to sleep, but I am worried about making the best decision for my cat. I want to sleep. I want to stop thinking. I want to stop life for a minute so I can take a breath. I want to take a breath. I want a moment, just one, where I feel mentally and physically okay. Is that too much to ask?

This, the thinking, is one of the reasons an author with insomnia isn't the best combination.

Movie Review - THE VATICAN TAPES

1/5/2018

If someone were to ask you if you believed in demons what would you say? If someone were to ask you if you believed people could be possessed by evil what would you say? What if someone asked you how the antichrist were to come to earth would you answer? Most people would say yes, yes, and being born to a virgin or corrupted mother depending on the background they knew.

THE VATICAN TAPES answers some of these questions and makes you ask others.

Angela is a normal, beautiful young woman, with a live in boyfriend her catholic father doesn't like and a life that could be better, but isn't that bad. On the day of her surprise birthday party she accidentally cuts herself, this causes terrible issues ending in a car accident which puts her into a coma. After some time she awakens and is a different person. The Vatican realizes she may be infected by an ancient evil and they try everything they can to release her.

While this movie follows the tropes of several others involving demonic possession, it does take a solid and original view on evil, possession, and the antichrist. Throughout the movie the viewer sees the normal things of a freaky animal who seems to tell Angela what to do, chanting, people reacting badly to Angela, and some deaths. There are several scenes where her father and boyfriend are involved that could have been fleshed out a little better, but I will get to that later. Overall, the tone of the movie is dark and suspenseful. There were several moments that I didn't see coming throughout, which was good since most horror movies rely on jump scares and predictable frights. This one seemed to have sudden moments that were not only unexpected, but also unpredictable, which was interesting because it also revealed the unpredictability of Angela and her possession.

While this was an interesting take on the whole idea of religion, possession, and the antichrist, and most of the movie was quite delightful to watch, there were several scenes with the father and the boyfriend that were just dull. First I have to say that the actor who portrays the boyfriend, John Patrick Ademori, was good. He played his character as flat and even in scenes where he was worried ad scared for his girlfriend he was just boring. If he had been my boyfriend I am sure I would have dumped him for his dull and flat behavior. The father, played by Dougray Scott, was okay, but he was a little bit of a whiner who asked too many questions at one point and not enough at another.

I don't know if it was the script of the acting that was bad for both of these male characters, but they did not deliver anything, nor did they enhance the story much. It could have been a movie solely about Angela and the Catholic church and it might have been a much better movie.

So while the premise and the idea was interesting, it wasn't a great movie. It was a little long, and in some places it was incredibly dull. In all honesty the only thing I really enjoyed was the questions it brought up.

So, internet readers, how do you think the antichrist will show itself?

Struggles

9/21/2017

Most of us struggle. We struggle financially, emotionally, physically, and just in life. Every day we get up and we struggle through our day, but we don't think of it that way do we? We like to think that we are living, but life is the biggest struggle of them all.

I saw a blog from another author today, and it broke my heart. I follow this author on twitter and have met him once, although like many in a sea of faces I am sure he wouldn't know me from Jane Doe. He is a somewhat popular author in the fantasy genre and his books, while long, are amazing (I have yet to finish the first because it is so long, and I have many shorter books I want to get through). He posted a blog recently about a death that seems inevitable and shortcoming. I felt for him, as I always do because I am only human. It has made me think.

A friend of mine lost her daughter a little while ago, I had no words. Another friend of my partner lost their 19-year old daughter this last week. Another friend of mine was hospitalized and I am not sure if he is going to be okay or not because he has kidney issues along with the issue he is currently in the hospital for. Another friend was just released after needing a blood transfusion. One of my cats, a 17-year old grumpy old lady, isn't doing well and gets skinnier and wobblier every day. My partners father isn't doing fabulous. I still have no words. They escape me. As a writer I want to say something comforting. I want to say the perfect thing. I don't want to repeat platitudes. But, I have no words.

I, myself, understand loss. The passing of my grandfather still haunts me. I look back and continually want one more day, one day to talk to him, one day to tell him I love him, one more day to walk to the corner ice cream shop. We always want one more day. But the struggle to live is over when we die. Living is the struggle.

While I miss my grandfather every single day, I know that he is no longer in pain. I know that if there is an afterlife he can walk and talk and drink whatever he wants. His afterlife is easier than the last few years of his life, and only I struggle because he isn't here.

I know the friend who lost her daughter struggles every day with that loss, but she has to find ways to struggle through each day and she has to find the beauty of her daughter in the world around her.

I know the friend who just lost his daughter has a long, dark tunnel to crawl through before he will find the light again. Yet, he will struggle through that tunnel, crawling through the muck and darkness of depression to hopefully make it back to the sunny, bright light of life.

It just struck me today, after reading the aforementioned author's blog, how much we live to die. Are we embracing the moments we have now? I know I am not. I need to take a moment, I need to hug and kiss my partner. I need to take a drive to Maine to visit my partner's father. I need to breathe and take a moment to enjoy the beauty of my surroundings. I need to get over being sad that I had to move and start over again, people do it all of the time, some with no one behind them. I need to stop struggling, and start living.

Tomorrow I am going to find something to enjoy and I am going to forget about the struggle to live and enjoy it.

Movie Review - WISH UPON

7/24/2017

Taken from the Rotten Tomatoes website here is the plot summary of the movie WISH UPON:

In the latest horror thriller from the director of ANNABELLE, 17-year-old Claire Shannon (Joey King) is barely surviving the hell that is high school, along with her friends Meredith (Sydney Park) and June (Shannon Purser). So when her dad (Ryan Phillippe) gifts her an old music box with an inscription that promises to grant the owner's wishes, she thinks there is nothing to lose. Clare makes her first wish and, to her surprise, it comes true. Before long, she finally has it all: money, popularity and her dream boy. Everything seems perfect - until the people closest to her begin dying in gruesome and twisted ways. Now, with blood on her hands, Clare has to get rid of the box, before it costs her and everyone she loves the ultimate price. Be careful what you wish for.

This movie is a totally unoriginal idea and seems to follow in the footsteps of POSSESSION, FINAL DESTINATION, and WISH MASTER. I was hoping this would bring new and interesting things to the genre, but it almost seems as if people have given up on making original horror movies in exchange for movies full of jump scares, kills that have been done to death, and characters who get stupider as the movie goes on.

Why would you continue to make wishes through a box if those you love die? Plus, this movie makes the main character, Claire, seem like a complete idiot. She isn't a total loser and high school isn't exactly hell for her. She has a couple of really good friends and she has at least one boy who really wants to date her, yet they want the audience to believe that her life is a total hell. I'm sorry but it isn't. A real hell in high school is someone who is beaten up every day, someone who comes from an abusive household, someone who is bullied constantly and doesn't have any good friends. Claire has more than some students get, plus she has a father who loves her more than life itself.

The backstory on the box is lacking, and yet at the same time it feels as if there was more information about the box than there was about Claire and her family. We are never told why the father is not working or why he does what he does. Plus, the audience doesn't get any information on how Claire and her father are living since we have no idea where they might be getting money.

This movie is a mashup of other movies, and the ending was entirely too predictable. Not only was the movie predictable but several of the death scenes reminded me of the movies FINAL DESTINATION, where death plays around a little before it kills ya. And honestly as a horror movie this was not at all scary. There I sat, alone, in a dark theater, all by myself, watching a "horror" movie, did I mention I was alone in this theater?! And not once did I jump, not once did I feel frightened or anxious about what was going to happen, and in fact, since I was alone in the theater, I freely checked the time wondering how long before the movie was over.

This was not a good movie. It wasn't scary, it wasn't thrilling, and it wasn't interesting.

Movie Review - THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (2016)

10/12/2016

I have yet to see the original MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, so I can't compare the two movies, and don't judge me, I am not really into westerns. I am, however, a fan of Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, and Vincent D'Nofrio, so I had to see this movie. I have to say I am glad I did.

A town is being overrun by a robber baron named, Bart, and Bart doesn't care who he kills to get what he wants, and what he want is land. The wife of a murdered man decides that something needs to be done, so she goes off in search of an army, and she finds one. Seven men gather to do what is right. Seven men fight. Seven men gather a town and teach them what it means to take your town back.

I can't really say too much about this movie without giving everything away, and I hate spoilers.

I will say this, as someone who is not a fan of westerns I really enjoyed this movie. It had several moment of humor and I enjoyed the levity of it, especially when such dark moments came later. I enjoyed the character interaction, although the wife of the dead man, Emma, could have been a little more developed, I do understand that she was not the reason this movie was made. I would have liked a few of the characters to be a little more developed to be honest, but even as they were I liked them.

I felt the end was a little clear cut, and I felt that the bad guy gave up a little too easy at one point. He was made out to be this really big bad, and then he became a whiny cry baby, it didn't seem realistic to me.

But, even with the issues I did have, I liked this movie, and I cared. I cared who lived and died and at one point I really wanted one of the characters to live, and it made me really very sad that he didn't.

So, go see this. If you are like me you will most likely enjoy it without seeing the original, I can't promise you will like it if you have seen the original. But that goes for all movies.

Life Complications

7/26/2016

It has been a difficult month. After just getting over bronchitis myself, and after my husband was getting over it, I had a sick cat. I thought it was a cold or allergies, so I took him to the vet on the 30th of June. He was given antibiotics. He did not get better and began having trouble breathing thought his nose so I took him back to the vet. He was given more shots. Later he got worse. I took him again on last Thursday, and was told to take him to the pet hospital. The vet at the hospital found a mass in his nose and did a biopsy. My cat was at the hospital for two days. About 5 days later we were called and told it wasn't cancer, but it was a fungal infection called cryptococcus neoformans. He is on an anti-fungal, steroid, and antibiotic. He can't breath through his nose. He has bloody noses every day. He isn't eating much. He is pretty miserable. Last Thursday I had to take him to the pet er because he was panting and breathing fast. He has no interest in wet food, fresh beef, or tuna. He sleeps a lot. He will be okay but we have a long road ahead of us. Complications of the medication and illness include nausea, anorexia, sores on and in face, blindness, ulcers, and if it affects his nervous system if could cause seizures, disorientation, balance issues, paralysis, and possibly death.

So why am I sharing all of this? Because sometimes thing get in the way of the plans we make. Sick loved ones, sick pets, being sick ourselves, it all affects the things we do and the things we are working on. One can't write a lot of death scenes if one is worried about the death of a pet.

Another reason I am writing this? Because life is hard. It is so much harder to live than it is to die. I'm not saying that dying is easy, but living when you lose someone is so much harder. When you live every day with the memory of someone who is no longer around, you almost feel like a part of you is gone, but it isn't. It's difficult to know you can never just pick up a phone and call, or take a drive and visit. It's hard to think about the fun times and the things that person often said, or how that pet often brought you their favorite toy. It's hard when you realize they no longer share the world with you, and often it makes the world seem a little bit darker.

So, animal or human, cherish them. Remember plans change. You may have to go to work tomorrow thinking about that sick cat you are leaving at home, but you have to do it, and you can.

I've written a couple of posts about death, maybe I need to write a post about life.

As for my cat, I hope he will be okay. Nothing is promised. Tomorrow is not promised, and neither is the next minute.

Movie Review - THE WITCH

2/28/2016

I didn't know what to expect when I went to see this movie since I hadn't seen a lot of previews for it, but it was a lot more interesting than I expected.

Set in the early days of America a man and his family are banished from the plantation they are living on. He sets out with his wife and four children to find a place for them to live. After they have been living there for a while things start to become strange and the wife blames the husband, claiming that because of her husband and his pride they are now cursed. One by one the children are affected by something which may or may not be supernatural in nature. Things do not get better for the family, and after two terrible tragedies the parents talk about returning to the plantation and begging for forgiveness. They never get the chance as outside forces decide their fate.

When the movie ended I was a little confused. I wasn't sure what I had just watched. Then I thought back. During the movie I joked a lot, apologizing to the people I went with for dragging them to a weird movie. It was slow and no one was really sure where it was going.

Then it was over.

The ending was a little bit of a surprise, and the plot was never really revealed clearly. It went back and forth between one subject (Puritanism) and another (witchcraft). After giving it some thought I realized I like the theme of the movie.

The theme seemed to be that if you are accused of something enough, you accept it and become what you are being accused of. For example, if a man accuses his wife of cheating on him enough times, then she might figure if she is constantly being blamed for it she might as well go do it and cheat on him.

The movie made me ponder if we are all what someone else made us. Thinking back on my life I thought of all of the things I had been called, and all of the things I had been told about myself and I realized that yes, I do believe that some of it is who I am, even if it may not be. The movie also made me think of bullies. If a bully tells another person that they are ugly and worthless enough times, they often believe it. This is what often leads to feelings of depression and suicide. This movie was movie that reveled in old American folklore, but it also spoke to me about bullying and what builds our thoughts about ourselves.

While this movie isn't for everyone, I recommend it if you want a movie that makes you think. It made me think, and I felt for the main character, I felt for her because I could be her (in some ways). I feel a kinship with her. I wonder who made me believe who I am with their cruel accusations and/or words.

The Vegetarian Question

2/12/2016

I used to be a pescatarian. I would only eat fish. Then I had issues with low iron and couldn't take iron supplements, so I decided to eat meat again. Today, I saw a baby cow frolicking in a field like a child frolics, and it made me think I should give Vegetarianism another try.

I love the taste of cow. I love the taste of bacon. I enjoy ground turkey in my chili. I don't eat chicken, but after watching a video about how they are treated, I couldn't eat them anymore. I know there are farmers who treat their animals with the best of care. I know there are farmers who, even thought they raise their animals to be food, they still feel bad killing them. I have no problem with people who eat meat, I love eating meat, but there is just something nagging me in the back of my brain. Souls.

I am not one of those people who feel like animals do not have a soul. I have been told by many of my religious friends that animals don't have souls. I have been told by my non-religious friends that animals don't have souls. I have been told by my friends who believe with ghosts tell me that animals don't become ghosts, so they don't have souls. I personally believe that all living beings have souls. If an animal can feel pain (which they can, I know, I stepped on my cat's paw yesterday and she howled in pain, then I made sure to check her paw to see if it is okay), how do they not have souls? If an animal feels sadness at the loss of another animal companion, they are obviously more than just stupid creatures with no emotional responses or feelings.

There is a video going around of a raccoon who's friend gets hit by a car. No one cares about the dying animal. Normally we don't look back at that animal we have hit with out car. I, personally, would be crushed if I killed an animal with my car. It isn't their fault they are in the road, they don't know any better, we aren't making things easy for them. Anyway, back to the video. The raccoon is obviously upset about his friend. He walks over and comforts his friend, not understanding what has just happened to his friend. As his friend lays dying, he cries, and the world around him just keeps moving on. When his friend is finally gone he moves on, sadly, his body language tells everyone who watches the video how broken he feels.

Now, let's not go around saying that I am going vegetarian because I have all these "feels" for animals, that's not the only reason. I also find that when I eat meat I feel nauseous after I eat it. I think that may be my body telling me something. So, starting next month I am going to try to go back to just fish, and a little turkey (because I can eat it in chili and I love chili).

I don't care if you eat meat. Eat all the meat. It's fine. I won't judge you for eating meat. All I ask is that you try to eat meat which has been humanely taken care of and killed. And the next time you hit an opossum and kill it with your car, take a moment to be sad, you just ended a life.