The blog of author Stacy Kingsley

Conversations with my Cat #5

11/15/2016

Day 1 (texting edition)
Maggie - I'm lonely and bored and hungry
Me - where on earth did you get a cell phone?
Maggie - eBay.
Me - how did you pay?
Maggie - PayPal.
Me - what do you expect me to do?
Maggie - call 911 I'm dying.
Me - exaggerating?
Maggie - I'm. Dying.
Me - stop using my credit card.
Maggie - I'm dead.
Rufus - nice, my own cell phone. It's Rufus!

Day 2
Maggie - you, human, why did you move all of the furniture?
Me - well it was only temporary so we could finish the floor.
Maggie - this does not please me (makes weird sound, like gagging).
Me - um, what are you doing?
Maggie - (more gagging, then puking)
Me - gross!
Maggie - this is my displeasure, warm, wet, and full of food...now I must eat it.
Me - gross, gross, gross, gross!
Rufus - oh, it smells like food in here (steps in puke, runs around the house screaming about his dirty paw while getting cat puke everywhere).

Day 3
Maggie - what is all this talk about orange things? Are you thinking of getting an orange cat?
Me - no, it's all about the presidential....
Maggie - stop right there, I care nothing about human existential problems.
Me - but there are so many things which may now be affected....
Maggie - I'm a cat, I don't bother with human crisis.
Me - but it could affect so many other things that...
Maggie - hey if you guys want to have cheese, or Cheetos, or that spray cheese from a can be your president, I really could care less as long as you treat me like the goddess I am.
Rufus - did someone say cheese? You know, I could eat some of that.

Day 4
Maggie - I vote this house becomes a democracy, and first vote is for tuna every day.
Me - until you can pay for stuff, not gonna happen.
Maggie - hey, if a can of spray cheese can run the US, I should get tuna every day.
Me - that's not how it works.
Maggie - oh please, if I wasn't sixteen I'd run for ruler of America, then you'd have to give me tuna every day.
Me - you wouldn't make a good president.
Maggie - (pukes on floor) I'm protesting the lack of tuna.
Rufus - hey, what's up (steps in puke) oh god, not again, it's all over my clean paw (runs around house, once again spreading puke everywhere)

Day 5
Maggie - I'm cold.
Me - it is getting to be that time of year.
Maggie - I'm must lay on top of you and bask in your warmth.
Me - but I was just about to...
Maggie - no, you will stay here and let me steal your warmth all day.
Me - but I have to....
Maggie - you have to do nothing but please me and keep me toasty.
Me - well I do have work...
Maggie - you will be calling in dead. Until it warms up around here you are to remain here underneath me.
Me - Maggie I've got to...
Rufus - cold, cold, so cold (presses freezing, little pink icicles on my skin)

Day 6
Maggie - What's that noise?
Me - It's not for you.
Maggie - Everything is for me.
Me - No, this is not for you.
Maggie - Just tell me. I am your queen and you must obey!
Me - Pringles.
Maggie - Oh I love those.
Me - Fine, have a piece.
Maggie - (sniffing crumb of chip walks away with head in air)
Me - I knew you'd do that.
Maggie - This is food for peasants.
Rufus - I smell something delicious! (sniffs chip piece, then licks it) Ew, get it off, get if off, get it off (licks air for ten minutes trying to get taste off of tongue)

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Conversations with my Cat #4

11/15/2016

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Day 1
Maggie - why are you sleeping out here in my space?
Me - both the hubby and boy cat are snoring in the bedroom, it's just too loud.
Maggie - but the couch is my domain.
Me - did you pay for it?
Maggie - no but I've claimed it. See, my fur is everywhere!
Me - it's 1:30am I haven't got time for this.
Maggie - you have all the time in the world, you've been slowly decaying for years, death has been whispering in your ear since birth.
Me - ugh, now I'm going to have bad dream.
Maggie - my job here is done, go sleep in your bed.
Rufus (heard two rooms away) - SNOOORRRTTTTLEE
Hubby (heard two rooms away) - SNUFFLLLEEE BLOWWW

Day 2
Maggie - I can't take this anymore, I need to get out of here!
Me - what? What's wrong?
Maggie - he's sneezing all over the place and snoring and snorting, how am I supposed to get my 18 hours of daily beauty sleep?
Me - I'm sorry, there's not much to do, but he goes to the doc next week.
Maggie - my life is now a noisy pit of despair and insomnia. I only slept 15 hours yesterday. Woe is me.
Rufus - sneeze sneeze snuffle snort sneeze purr

Day 3
Maggie - get up, I'm hungry.
Me - what time is it? Is it still dark outside?
Maggie - I'm starving.
Me - it's only 3am, it's not time to feed you yet.
Maggie - I'm dying! Feed me or suffer my wrath.
Me - I'm not going to get out of bed to feed you when I'm sure you still have food in your bowl.
Maggie - I haven't eaten in minutes.
Me - grumble (pulls covers over head)
Maggie - (sticks stinky butt in my face)
Rufus - I could eat.

Day 4 (October edition)
Maggie - it's my favorite time of year.
Me - why?
Maggie - because I'm black and beautiful and people celebrate that this month.
Me - no, people celebrate that black cats are scary and evil this month.
Maggie - well, if the shoe fits (starts sharpening claws)
Me - um....maybe I need a priest....
Maggie - (smirks)
Rufus - (saunters in groaning) Maggie ate all the food this morning, and then she didn't cover her poo and I almost stepped in it, then she barfed on my favorite toy, then she kicked me off the bed.....
Maggie - (gently licks one paw, smacks Rufus, and glides out of room)

Day 5
Me - (looking at facebook...again)
Maggie - (trying to get my attention by butting her head against my phone and shoving her butt in my face)
Me - ugh, what Maggie? I'm busy.
Maggie - what are you doing that's more important than petting me?
Me - I'm looking through my facebook.
Maggie - you mean your using important minutes on wastebook.
Me - (looking at Maggie) you're right. I am tired of all the racial, political, and just idiotic stuff posted on facebook. Maybe I should sign out for a while.
Maggie - plus that means you can pretty me more.
Me - okay, I'll just post this conversation and sign off.
Maggie - (tapping claws together) excellent, my plan is working human slave.
Me - what was that?
Rufus - you hairless humans are so stupid. Oh look, a sock filled with cat nip! I must kill it!

Day 6
Me - Maggie what are you doing?
Maggie - hush slave, golden things are falling from the sky and tweety things are everywhere.
Me - you mean winter is coming?
Maggie - this is a no GAME OF THRONES reference area.
Me - you know what that is?
Maggie - I've slept on your smutty books.
Me - um
Maggie - yeah
Me - well, I've got dishes to do.
Maggie - no you don't, you have food you need togive me.
Rufus - ah, I want to go run in the scary grass and brown leaf things! Let me out! Let me out!

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Conversations with my Cat #3

11/15/2016

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Day 1
Maggie - woe is me, this life is so unpleasant.
Me - what's wrong sweetie?
Maggie - I am slowly dying of starvation since you have changed how much food we're getting and how much we are being fed.
Me - first off it's better for you, and second it's the only way to give the boy cat his meds.
Maggie - dying, life is full of melancholy hunger.
Me - you're always so overly dramatic.
Maggie - and you're fat, fatty mcfatfat.
Me - ouch.
Rufus - look at my svelte figure. Sick looks good on me! I have a waistline!

Day 2
Maggie - puts paw on humans face
Me - removes paw from eye
Maggie - puts paw on humans face
Me - removes paw from nose
Maggie - puts paw on humans face
Me - removes paw from mouth wondering if cat just came from cat box
Maggie - puts paw on humans throat
Me - rips paw off throat, digs claws out of skin, takes deep breath and wonders why cat wants me dead
Rufus - puts entire body on humans face and begins licking humans hair

Day 3
Maggie - Pet me slave.
Me - it's after midnight I should be sleeping.
Maggie - no you should be petting me so I can go to sleep after I run around the house like a maniac.
Me - You are being awfully honest tonight, what's up?
Maggie (looking away and brushing her whiskers with her paw) - nothing.
Me - I know something is ... wait did you pee outside of the catbox again?
Maggie - I shall not tell a lie (whispered while walking away).
Me - Damn it.
Rufus (running into the room snorting partly because he is laughing and partly because one entire nostril is plugged) - EW! Someone peed on the floor and I stepped in it (right before he jumps on the bed and put his paws on my face).

Day 4
Maggie - you're hogging the bed
Me - it's my bed, you have a little bed if you want your own.
Maggie - it's not comfortable, it feels like I'm laying on top of the bones of a thousand dead sparrows.
Me - that's a little gruesome.
Maggie - life is gruesome. It's an endless pit of pain and sadness. Never any satisfaction.
Me - um...
Maggie -move over (starts whacking me in face with tail).
Rufus (jumps on bed, lays on my chest) - hi human, you're comfy too sleep on. A big, mushy, flesh colored pillow ... purr purr snort sneeze snuffle purr.

Day 5
Me - cats? Cats? Cats where are you?
Maggie - shhhhh
Me - Maggie? Rufus? Where are you guys?
Maggie - it will find us, shhhhh.
Me - are you guys under the bed again?
Maggie - stupid human, you're going to give away or position and get us killed!
Me (looking under bed) - why are you guys hiding? It's only thunder and lightening.
Maggie - it's the doom of all living beings (shivers). It will find us and end us (shivers more strongly). It is deaths doorbell (eyes wide, shivers and looks away from me).
Rufus - that really loud noise is scary and loud, it's dark and not scary under the bed, you should crawl under here with us.

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November and Thankfulness

11/15/2016

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Politics and the presidential race seems to have put a damper on the holidays this season. I am not here to tell you how to feel or what to do about these times, although some of you may feel like you have walked straight into the apocalypse, while others feel vindicated in their beliefs.

I want to, instead, tell you what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for breath. Every day I wake up and I am still breathing, I am still able to get out of bed and enjoy life. I am able to walk out of my house, into my front yard, and look at the things I own. My life is really pretty good, even though at times it is incredibly hard. I struggle every year to make sure I have a job, make sure I am able to afford the life I have built, make sure that I can continue supporting myself and my significant other as much as possible. I have little furballs who depend on me too, and one is a hard one to care for since he is on medicine which is not cheap, and has a heart condition which needs to be monitored yearly. I struggle to write, as many writer's do, and it hurts my head and my heart to struggle as I do. Yet, I wouldn't change it for anything.

I am thankful for my significant other and my furbabies. Without them to comfort me, to care for, and to love, I may have gone crazy and become homeless a long time ago. I struggled. I struggled with myself because I was told that no one would love me, ever. I struggled because I thought, like a lot of people think, that no one would love me, that I was worthless, and that I didn't matter. Why didn't I matter? I was too fat, too ugly, to stupid, so many things, but we tell ourselves these things because either someone else did, or no one told us otherwise. I know a lot of people still feel this way, I know a lot of people are still struggling, but I wish you could know what it is like to feel better about yourself. I would love to tell you it gets better, but sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it still sucks. You just learn to move on and not let those things become who you will always be.

I am thankful for food. I love food, and right now I am a little sick, so I can't taste all of the food. I had a great egg sandwich for lunch, it smelled great, but it tasted like nothing. I love all of the holiday food, cheesecake, pumpkin pie, fudge (oh god please, someone make me some fudge!), holiday tea, the moist turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, mulled cranberry cider (I make it), and so many other things.

I am thankful that I can celebrate life, the holidays, and everything I am sure I take for granted every day! One day this life will end and I won't be able to do any of the things I do now. That is the day I will stop being thankful.

Now, this is the last blog post I needed to make today, I feel like I have been neglecting this blog a little, but as we all know, sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes, life.

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Movie Review - DOCTOR STRANGE

11/15/2016

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I went to see this movie knowing very little about the character of Doctor Strange, except a short YouTube video I had watched the day before. IMDb has this as a synopsis: A former neurosurgeon embarks on a journey of healing only to be drawn into the world of the mystic arts, which doesn't really tell you much about the movie or the character either. So, as someone who knows nothing about the comic book character of Doctor Strange here is what I think about the movie.

In the beginning I was not a fan of the good Doctor, but I think that may have been the point. He was an egotistical bastard who treated those he loved as if they were nothing more than crap on the bottom of his show. Even after he loses the use of his hands, he doesn't accept that his life is nothing more than a shadow of what it once was, traveling to exotic places in search of answers to his problems. What he finds is a world of magic and fantasy, where he can devour all the knowledge, but not really understand the power he is developing. He continues to be egotistical until the big bad comes and he must decide between running and saving himself, or doing what he never wanted to do and become a hero.

I really enjoyed a lot of this movie, especially the humor in it. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and really it reminded me of the first Iron Man movie, the one where I fell in love with the character of Iron Man. I can only hope that if these movies continue they keep the humor, which Iron Man has lost, and the fun of the character.

One of the main issues I had with this movie was the amount of CGI (which I understand) in it. I would have liked more real life situations and less magical moving of things. Also if you suffer from moderate to severe motion sickness you may have an issue with some of the movement. I had to look away from the screen a couple of times because I was getting a little nauseous. The scenery was quite beautiful and the action scenes were also wonderful, but it did feel a little over the top a few times.

I recommend this movie to anyone who likes superhero, and especially if you are into superheros with flaws. DOCTOR STRANGE doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is.

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Movie Review - OIUJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL

11/15/2016

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This movie looked much more interesting than the original OUIJA movie, although it could have gone either way since sequels and prequels are not always as profitable as their original counterpart. This movie, while staying true to the story built in the original, had a lot of the things that the original did not, especially the scares.

The synopsis from IMDb reads In 1965 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her two daughters add a new stunt to bolster their seance scam business and unwittingly invite authentic evil into their home. When the youngest daughter is overtaken by a merciless spirit, the family confronts unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.

Doris is the youngest daughter and watching her transform from a lovable and innocent little girl to a monster filled with evil was frightening. It also made me wonder why the mother didn't step in sooner, she had see what was happening to her daughter. The elder daughter, Lina, is trying to have a normal teenage life when both her mother and sister start believing that the death father/husband is talking to them through the Ouija board. Now the Ouija board is not in itself evil, no one follows the rules of the game. They don't say goodbye to close the door, they do play alone, and they do play in a graveyard.

I really enjoyed how this movie stayed in the story built in the first movie, and this really did outshine the first movie. There were more frightening moments in this movie, one especially poignant one when Doris is attacked by a spirit who wants to use her abilities for itself. Another moment, which is frightening and eerie in it's simplicity, involves Doris and Lina's soon to be boyfriend. It is a scene you will remember even at the end of the book.

The ending is predictable, especially if you have seen the original movie, but it was still pretty well done. I would have liked a little more back story on the house and the spiritual inhabitants, but overall this was not a bad movie at all.

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Conversations with my Cat #5

Conversations with my Cat #4

Conversations with my Cat #3

November and Thankfulness

Movie Review - DOCTOR STRANGE

Movie Review - OIUJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL

Stacy Kingsley

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