Stacy Kingsley
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Loss

4/30/2015

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We've all experienced it, the loss of someone dear to us. Not everyone has lost someone in death, but everyone has lost someone in their lives.

Loss sucks. Wanting to pick up the phone and call the person you can no longer call, one of the most shocking and depressing feelings. Wanting to send a funny picture, book, postcard, it all hurts like tiny needles being stuck in your chest, then you realize you can't ever send that thing because that person is never going to be there. Wanting a hard hug or a soft word or to share that inside joke one last time, it all stings.

I've lost many people important to me, some to the cloaked ghost of death and some to the busy fog of life. They disappear and I'm not always sure where they have gone or what to do after they have disappeared. When my grandfather passed I was distraught, I knew I would never get ice cream with him again, in fact there are times when just the thought of ice cream makes me want to cry. I lost my sister, I never met her, yet I still feel the pain of her never being there like a weird black hole. I lost my mother-in-law and I feel so guilty because in the last card she sent she wrote, "CALL ME." I never did, and now I never can.

Loss comes with so many emotions, love, anger, guilt, more love, distress, sadness, joy, more love.

I don't know how we (people) do it. We lose people and yet we continue to go on. We are so resilient and yet so fragile. I feel like I could break at any moment, and yet I know I will continue on. Why? Because if I don't share the memories I have of the people that I have lost they will disappear. Who will share them if I don't?

Loss is hard for everyone. Heartache feels like a bullet has passed through your chest and all you are sucking in is cold, dead air.

I should be posting about other stuff, more related to what I write and horror, but sometimes, life interferes, and I've gotta write about what is going on.

As long as I'm writing I'm okay.
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Pain and Memorial Services

4/21/2015

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So I may be off of the grid for a few days as I head to my Mother-in-Laws memorial. I realize that while I'm sad because I miss her, I am lucky to have been able to get to know her. I can't be sad for her that she is gone because she doesn't know she's gone, or if you believe in the afterlife, she is somewhere off in the ether haunting people who annoyed her or just for fun. I hope she's haunting people for fun.

The pain of losing someone is really transitional. One day you are perfectly fine, then you realize you will never hear that person's voice again, or receive a silly gift from them, or have someplace to send that silly gift you bought. Everything is transitory.

I'm also in the process of possibly buying a house, looking for a job, writing the last zombie book in my series, going to get stuff I left behind when I moved, wondering where I can make more friends (it is surprisingly hard for an introverted writer to meet people), and all the while I am losing myself in random books I wish would never end. Except the last one I read, THE SEX LIVES OF CANNIBALS, terrible book, well, mostly just boring.

I just wanted to let anyone that follows this know, I am still around even if I'm not on social media a lot. And I appreciate you, all of you, as long as you aren't eating my brains.
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Brainssssss

4/13/2015

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In every show I've seen, almost every movie I've watched and most of the books I've read, it seems like zombies really, really enjoy brains. Sometimes they like other parts of a living human, sometimes it's the intestines (DEAD SNOW), sometimes it's the brains for the memories (WARM BODIES), and sometimes it is just the entire body of the living (NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD). Brains actually didn't become a thing for zombies to eat until the movie THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, in which all they want is brains.

After watching a variety of zombie movies, I've decided that I prefer when they eat more than just brains. Why take a bite of a human and infect them if you don't want to taste them? Then again this opens a whole new can of maggots. Some movies, shows and books want us to believe we can't get infected through a bite. There are many who want the infection to be only through blood, or sex, or a needle prick from and infected needle. Let's keep this simple, let's just say anyone can be infected by bodily fluids.

I loved DEAD SNOW because of the use of intestines. I loved NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD because they killed and ate whatever they could get a hold of. I really have enjoyed IN THE FLESH, and they eat mostly brains but also what they can get in their mouths. In books I like the use of intelligent zombies who eat what they need in the DYING TO LIVE series by Kim Paffenroth.

So it isn't all about brains, it's about the body. Doesn't that make you, yeah, you out there reading this, feel better about yourself? When the zombie apocalypse comes the undead won't only want you for your brains, but they will be all over your bodies too. Nice. Makes all the time you spent at the gym worth it, or all the cakes you ate, whatever, it's your life, until you die at least.
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TV Show Review - IN THE FLESH

4/1/2015

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What happens if the zombie virus is just a disease and can be treated with medications? Would you want to use it after what you had done as a zombie? Would those who weren't infected accept you when you returned home? These are just a few of the questions brought up in BBC's IN THE FLESH.

IN THE FLESH only lasted for two seasons. The first season includes three episodes and the second season has six. It begins after the zombie uprising and follows the main character Kieren Walker, a young man who died and rose again. His family brings him home to try to support a healthy lifestyle and make him feel like he has somewhere to feel safe. Problem, those who remain uninfected remember what it was like to survive the zombies and they don't partially care to have the Partially Deceased Sufferers living in their town. In fact, they kill those they find even though it isn't legal to kill zombies anymore unless they are rabid and not on their medication.

Kieren doesn't understand that he is a prisoner when he returns home, his sister is part of the militia killing PDS patients, and the fact that he no longer kills people for their brains no longer matters, he is still the enemy.

After watching the first season I thought this show was a thought provoking take on the zombie virus and the zombie genre. Plus it made me consider what I would do if someone I loved became a zombie then returned home. The struggles seen in the television show are heart-wrenching at times. If your child returned home with PDS would you embrace them or turn them away? It's a good question as it not only makes one think of a person being a zombie, but a lot of social issues today. Replace PDS with homosexuality, HIV, pregnancy, divorce, depression, and you have a whole plethora of questions relevant to today's society.

There were moments when I was angry at the show. People shouldn't pretend nothing happened as their zombiefied relative returns home. Things will never be the same, ever. Relatives shouldn't torture and kill their returning relatives just because of what they are infected with. Then again, if you are zombie virus sufferer you shouldn't return home and expect everyone to forget the people they lost in the uprising, nor should you expect people to forget those who were murdered in front of them by people suffering from this disease.

At times this show was a little dark, at other times it was a little hard to watch. The relationships were fascinating, and the end of the first season left me wanting more. I haven't watched the second season yet, but I'm looking forward to it. If you like the zombie genre I suggest you try this. It may not be for everyone, but it isn't much of a commitment since both seasons only equal about 8 1/2 hours. If you like it you can thank me, if not, just move along.
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    Stacy Kingsley

    Stacy has a lot on her mind, so sharing helps. She also has a great love of movies and books, so she decided to blog about it. Get her reviews here! 

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